"Further along I could see how I wish that I knew how to stop time." - Adhitia Sofyan, Tokyo Lights Fade Away.I'm a...
uhm...
I'm in this position where I think that I wish that I have a fast-forward button in my life. Wait, no.
I...
I do want to skip some particular things in my life but I also do want another particular things for not coming that fast. So I think that I need a stop button to fix something that I think it's wrong. Then I can keep pressing the fast-forward button without worrying those things for coming that fast.
Lo pernah nonton film pertamanya Raditya Dika yang judulnya 'Kambing Jantan', nggak? Ada satu scene yang sampai sekarang gue inget kejadiannya, dimana si bang Dika teriak, "STOP!" kemudian semua hal di sekitarnya nge-freeze, terus dia ngomong, "Kenapa sih semuanya harus pake bahasa Inggris? Cape bacain subtitle, tauk!" Ya kurang lebih scenenya gitu lah. Dan kemudian pas unfreeze, semuanya jadi ngomong pake bahasa Indonesia, termasuk si dosen bulenya. :))
Ya kadang, gue juga ingin bisa teriak, "STOP!" di tengah-tengah sekolah, keruwetan, rutinitas, atau apapun lah yang lama-kelamaan bikin muak. Teriak stop, and then crying all over myself, alone. Teriak stop, and staring at an emptiness. Stop, and deep breathe in and out and then being alright again. But unfortunately, this is not a Kambing Jantan movie. It's life, and it keeps going on. Bisa sih teriak stop gitu.. Tapi paling yang ada, orang-orang bakalan ngeliat gue dengan muka, "Ini anak kenapa? Waras?" :|
Nope. I just realized that it's not all about how to stop time. But it's all about me who's not ready yet. I haven't well-prepared yet to face what's there in front of me. It's all about me that have to manage the time. And it's all about me, worrying too much about God's plan which still a biggest mystery.
Yes after all, I can never blame the situation but myself.
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